You know something, it's really weird when God uses the "odd-random-small-things" to get my attention.
This month's lesson: Taking care of me! :O
Though I know that it is ok...to do this, I haven't and I put myself last...ALOT and WAY TO OFTEN. So I make plans=get stood up!!! Make more plans=get stood up and recieve dead flowers cry, color and... Make more plans AGAIN= no one comes+warm bubble bath!!! Make new and more plans= and 1 friend shows up...at this point I'm like Lord "Are you freakin' serious?" "What is wrong with me?
"Nothing..." He said
Nothing!!! I was like lets recap... I got stood up... Recieved dead flowers... And have been crying myself to sleep for the last 3 weeks...Was told that "there is to many facets to you, to much for me to deal with at this time..." I was like are you sure, Lord, nothing is wrong with me... Are you sure? And then He laughs at me!
So, as of today, I've come to the conclusions that God has something AMAZING instore for me. And even though TBA is not in focus...((yet)) I have the overwhelming urge to think that this summer is a going to be a RELEASING/FREEING/MONUMENTAL one.
Every since the day of smother-a-tion...((hahahha)) I've been really upset/overwhelemed by the disappointment/embarassement/humilation that I've brought to others. However, Im amazed at how many people think that they know what Gods real intentions are/have been for me. It amazes me that one event could change my life course for a life time and for the better. The Day of Smothering was planned from the beginning of time. God knew that there were/are people that would try to go destory my UN-tame-able spirt... ty to hoon it for their own gain or pleasure...but not remembering that I was/am made for only Ones pleasure... and in order to become that fully...taking care of this temple is a must, because:
"There is spirital-steel being forged in your system that NO man can break...
You are not a mistake...
You are a special one, perfectly designed...
I made you flawless...
I got alot in store for you!"
Un-stoppable, Warrior-Queen, you are.
(May 30, 2010)
Now, don't get me wrong... I have a long way to go, but at the same time, I'm very confident these next 27 days and this summer are going to be VERY INTERESTING, FREEING, EMOTIONAL, and DIRECTIONAL!! Finish hard, especially when youre already exhausted and feel like you had the sh*t kicked out of you, is hard enough... but knowing that these last couple months have been training for what the next steps in my life... AMAZED and very COMFORTED... I am! :D
Release...I welcome you!
Focus... I welcome you!
TBA... I welcome you!
Un-stoppable-Warrior Queen... I welcome you!!
The time of hiding and be force to comform is OVER. There is no holding this one back. And new day is coming!! And to think that people can bearly handle this me... I can't wait to see what God does with me...
Don't worry, if you stand me up... Its ok. Nothing/no one is stopping me from becoming what I am supposed to become... But understand something...
I gonna FLY!! I gonna DRIVE!! I gonna GO!! I want to be a part of SOMETHING I don’t know!! And if you try to hold me back I might EXPLODE!! Baby, by now, you SHOULD know...
I can’t be tamed!
Until next time... <3
