Changes (while the ground is no where to be found...)

What a turn around...

Since the beginning of this year, things have been constantly changing. Somethings are great. Somethings are not so great. But overall it's helping me become better and an even greater individual.

Living life is one things, but living it to the FULLEST, now that's another thing. Trying to figure out what direction my life is taking. Figuring out 1.) Should I make roots where I am or Should I be a nomad until future plans are set? 2.) Do I want to be self-employed and push myself or do I want to see how far I can get working for "The Man" (whoever the heck he is...) 3.) What in the world does God want me to do here??? And why the heck would He want to use me?? 4.) Do I want to rent a house or rent an apartment?? 5.) Where do I go from here?

So many decisions, so many things that I have to think about, so many things that I need to face...but I'm kinda scared too. Really scared to...

Changes are always good. Changes are situations that make you realize what you are really made of. Some changes make you face your worst fear, yet some encourage you and make you realize that you are great and dangerous...and the world better recognize...((ahahaha)) But over all, change makes you cling to the fact that God has a purpose for your life. He hasn't forgotten about ya. He just wants you closer to Him, in an even deeper relationship... :)

So yes, welcome to my changes. Who knows whats in store. All I do know is that these changes are going to make me a much better person, and who knows maybe I'll be happier or even better, a little wiser... hahaha. Who knows...



until next time... :D

Welcome to Week 5 (182lbs and I'm surprised it wasn't higher)

O what a week...

Hours get cut all around: Little in babysitting. Little at Pizza Hut. Which ment WAY to much time to think and do nothing except for plan, prepare, pout, fool around on my computer, have frustrating conversations with God, and just try to keep myself for crying.

I'm one of those people who gains weight when stressed... Even though that may have been the case, there was no need to turn to comfort food (b/c I didn't want it) and no need to get angry at myself b/c the situations were out of my control...

This is a totally new leaf and a MAJOR answer to prayer.

For so long I've been shown the wrong way to handle my emotions. Bottling things up and keeping/holding it all in is so not healthy. Even though I am a very emotional person, I tend to show my feelings in the wrong way also... Lately God has put people in my life that have help me keep my emotions in check. I'm so blessed to have the best girl friends that I do. If it weren't for my 3 best girls, I would probably 1.) Be alot heavier/alot more stressed!! 2.) Be a royal-hot-mess... 3.) Be alot more upset with the way things are panning out than I should be.

So over all life is still FULL even though the cup is almost empty...hahaha Shout outs to Alyssa, Tabby, and Elisha, you girls are the greatest gift I could ever ask God for. Thank you for keeping my perspective in check, giving me stupid/histarical things to laugh at. Thank you for all the texts and picture messages, late phone calls and facebook chats... Lifesavers and incredible blessing... I'm so blessed and so lucky. And Miss you all terribly :) Thanks again for everything.

until next week...

ps: Goal next week: Break 180!! More hours/new job!! Running over cup... :)

Welcome to Week 4 (183lbs)

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone...♥♥

And yes despite the wonderful meal that I had this weekend, I still managed to lose 3lbs!!! And the winter tire is beginning to deflate...Wooooohooooo :)

This past week was a hard one. Being called the "n" twice and still working on not letting the shallowness and hurtful words of other effect me, I learned something new about me. This may sound mean and heartless, but the power to delete and block and just say no has been a thrill for me.

Trying something is always hard, but I believe it will help in the long run. I know we live in a world where change happends on a daily basic, but I hope that this newest change sticks. And that things will become even better.

Thats all for this week. Hopefully I'll be down to 180lbs by next week!!! If not, at least i'll be on step closer. I love how great and beautiful I feel.

Until next time...♥

Welcome to Week 3 (still 186lbs)

Did you ever feel defeated and victorious at the same time. That was this past week. Between getting behind on my online Bible study and not losing or gaining anything. I had feels of condemnation and defeat, but God open some doors that I wasn't expecting...and showed my hope that I see for everyone else and thought would never happen for me.

This past week may have been a physical defeat, but personally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally...there was much victory!!!

Personal/Relational: There is so much power in reconnecting with people. Listening to people stories and seeing how they have grown and knowing that God let you have an ounce to do with it... It's so powerful and so cool. It's even cooler when you think that you know what you doing by making yourself so busy that "nothing/no one" could possibly make you turn and look and be like "look who is that fine man".... yep that happened in the past week too. I've never been this blessed. Though my country man is making me wait...((and yes though of you who know me know that it's killing me...)) its awesome to see that 1.)Chivalry is NOT dead!! 2.) There are good ones out there. 3.) And that are men that still have it in them to be the leaders and know their god-given place. I'm so lucky and so blessed.

Emotional: Think positive, surround yourself with positive thing and you will become positive and crave positive. There is a confidence springing up inside of me that I haven't not seen in a while. And I'm soooo glad that she is coming back... :) Having a real smile all the time has been super nice too.

Spiritual: I'm re-learning what it means to be diligent in all things. Maintain money has always been a hard things for me, but God is teaching/showing me that yes if you are faithful in the little things, then He will show you have to be faithful with the much that is to come. And let me tell you...its been great to see things double! Paying bills a week before they are due, having "extras" ((but i can't wait for them to be extras...hahaha)) and just being responsible... And yet again even with Him things are more than possible... :)


Pressing through and pressing on is possible. There is power in reconnection. One just has to be still, and wait... He'll come when you lets expect Him... :)

until next time...