Wooohooo, -3lbs for pounds for me! It has been a victorious week and I feel great. It probably would have been more, but it is still winter here...aka: It will be freezing cold here and my butt is not going outside in this freezing-ness... ;)
But this past Monday, I went to Zumba...and loved it. This Monday, I may join the group. I figured if anything, I definitely would not be bored!! I had a TON of fun and it will definitely help me stay active even before spring-time. Other than that, I've added a good breakfast back into my day, taking a multi-vitamin (for some of the vitamins that I'm lacking), bringing my own lunch to nannying or Pizza Hut, and eating salad/soup or sandwiches and loading up on veggies as much as possible has defiantly helped in this losing weight process. :) I'm also back to encouraging my TEA addiction!!!! Yep, its true :) And also notice that I didn't say I've stopped eating or that I'm starving myself... I LOVE FOOD!!! Substituting things and moderation is key. :)
Other than that, I have added "the Lord" to my diet. Yep, that's right I've let Him get involved. In this devotional that I've been going through it has really be been making me think, not only what I tend to overeat at times (or just not eat at all)...but it really makes me think of the REAL root of my eating problem and unnecessary weight gain truly is. What I have learned in this past week has really surprised me too.
For example:
1.) Comfort-food is never good for you. It's a form of bondage and if one is not careful it may totally ruin ones life!!
2.) What REALLY motivates you to lose weight maybe the one thing that keeps you from losing weight!!
There is so much more that I would love to share but I'm really not ready to. Its only the beginning of this life-changing process. ((55 days to go...)) A process that will bring healing and restoration. One that will acknowledged the fact that there is STILL hope, not just for deliverance for me inner-woman, but a victorious, beautiful looking outer-woman. I can't wait to see what God does with me.
until next week...
PS: Thanks Crystal for showing me that site. It has been a blessing:)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Welcome to Week 1... (189lbs)
Yes, folks it's true. I weigh 189lbs. Even though losing weight was NOT one of my New Years resolutions I have still decided to improve my life style in little ways so that I would feel better about myself in ALL AREAS of life...
For some of you, that boldness may be a surprise b/c I come across as being happy go lucky. Things seem to be held together. Life is grand. But at the same time, for those of you who are welcomed to sit at my round table (hahahaha) know that I struggle with heavy things. Things that "normal" people don't deal with. Resolving past issues and trying to re-build bridges that only God can fix. Learning that I deserve nothing but the best...and that it's o.k. to demand the best to make itself known.
So I've started to change things...
Relationally: I've been single since May. I've reconnected with 3-5 old girl-friend (which is new for me, since I have trust issues, and have been slapped in the face way to many time). I talked to one of them every single day...and the others I go out of my way to text or call. They do the same for me, since they are 3 busy mommas. And it has been such a blessing living with one of my friends and her family. I'm such a blessed girl. As for the men in my life, we are friends. We hang out in big mixed groups, and we just have a lot of fun...aka: I get picked on... A lot :)
Mentally: I've been trying to just be positive. This past year has been a year of falling over stumbling blocks and breaking them down so I don't trip over them again. In this past year, I've learned that the mind is a POWERFULLY thing. I've always known that... but the light bulb went off... :) ((FINALLY)) I have been training myself to become more aware of the "stuff" that I allow myself to be open to... Like what I listen to, things I watch on T.V/Movies, even what I read, and yes even what I'm going online/how much time I'm online. It's been cool realizing that 1/2 of what is wrong with me I can actually control. It's just been mind-blowing realizing this!
Physically: Hahahaha, yes ladies and gentlemen... I have joined the cult called Zumba and I love it. Um... Usually I don't start working off the winter chub until its warm enough to do things outside. However, due to the fact that I am impatient and I don't want to wait until than. And the fact that I am not happy with the way I feel or the way that my body looks... I've started working out and doing a Bible study called the Lord's Table:A 60 day Spiritual Detox. It's been great.
This is the Today is the first day that I have started the Lord's Table. This is the middle of the first greatest week I've had in over a year... And I'm so glad that God has brought on this challenge. Reminding me that it's ok to take care of me. It's ok to love myself. And lately I'm like... " So... This is what FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made looks like..." Not..."Wow, why in the world did you make this hot mess, Lord?"...hahaha
Spiritually: This is the part when I would insert a novel, but I wont... Hahaha... All I will let you in on is this... I just feel this urgency to get on board with what God is doing and how He is moving. I know He never changes but at the same time there is something EXTREMELY fresh in this wind...for sometime now. And we as God's people better get on board or we are going to miss out on something HUGE.
For me, I'm seeing things that I've wept over (for what feels like forever...) and they are finally going to come together and manifesting. I haven't seen it physically yet, but I know it's coming. :D And I can already hear is... "See, I told you so... I haven't forgotten you!" O man, am I excited or what!!! :D
Well there you have it! Welcome to the middle of Week 1. I'm proud to say that I weigh 189lbs... :P And I'm hoping that by the end of week 9 to be down to at least 165-170lbs. Eating healthy and overall hoping to revamp my wonderfully hectic life style:)
until next time... :D
For some of you, that boldness may be a surprise b/c I come across as being happy go lucky. Things seem to be held together. Life is grand. But at the same time, for those of you who are welcomed to sit at my round table (hahahaha) know that I struggle with heavy things. Things that "normal" people don't deal with. Resolving past issues and trying to re-build bridges that only God can fix. Learning that I deserve nothing but the best...and that it's o.k. to demand the best to make itself known.
So I've started to change things...
Relationally: I've been single since May. I've reconnected with 3-5 old girl-friend (which is new for me, since I have trust issues, and have been slapped in the face way to many time). I talked to one of them every single day...and the others I go out of my way to text or call. They do the same for me, since they are 3 busy mommas. And it has been such a blessing living with one of my friends and her family. I'm such a blessed girl. As for the men in my life, we are friends. We hang out in big mixed groups, and we just have a lot of fun...aka: I get picked on... A lot :)
Mentally: I've been trying to just be positive. This past year has been a year of falling over stumbling blocks and breaking them down so I don't trip over them again. In this past year, I've learned that the mind is a POWERFULLY thing. I've always known that... but the light bulb went off... :) ((FINALLY)) I have been training myself to become more aware of the "stuff" that I allow myself to be open to... Like what I listen to, things I watch on T.V/Movies, even what I read, and yes even what I'm going online/how much time I'm online. It's been cool realizing that 1/2 of what is wrong with me I can actually control. It's just been mind-blowing realizing this!
Physically: Hahahaha, yes ladies and gentlemen... I have joined the cult called Zumba and I love it. Um... Usually I don't start working off the winter chub until its warm enough to do things outside. However, due to the fact that I am impatient and I don't want to wait until than. And the fact that I am not happy with the way I feel or the way that my body looks... I've started working out and doing a Bible study called the Lord's Table:A 60 day Spiritual Detox. It's been great.
This is the Today is the first day that I have started the Lord's Table. This is the middle of the first greatest week I've had in over a year... And I'm so glad that God has brought on this challenge. Reminding me that it's ok to take care of me. It's ok to love myself. And lately I'm like... " So... This is what FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made looks like..." Not..."Wow, why in the world did you make this hot mess, Lord?"...hahaha
Spiritually: This is the part when I would insert a novel, but I wont... Hahaha... All I will let you in on is this... I just feel this urgency to get on board with what God is doing and how He is moving. I know He never changes but at the same time there is something EXTREMELY fresh in this wind...for sometime now. And we as God's people better get on board or we are going to miss out on something HUGE.
For me, I'm seeing things that I've wept over (for what feels like forever...) and they are finally going to come together and manifesting. I haven't seen it physically yet, but I know it's coming. :D And I can already hear is... "See, I told you so... I haven't forgotten you!" O man, am I excited or what!!! :D
Well there you have it! Welcome to the middle of Week 1. I'm proud to say that I weigh 189lbs... :P And I'm hoping that by the end of week 9 to be down to at least 165-170lbs. Eating healthy and overall hoping to revamp my wonderfully hectic life style:)
until next time... :D
5 Yes, they shall sing of the ways of the LORD,
For great is the glory of the LORD.
6 Though the LORD is on high,
Yet He regards the lowly;
But the proud He knows from afar.
7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me;
You will stretch out Your hand
Against the wrath of my enemies,
And Your right hand will save me.
8 The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;
Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands
— Psalm 138:5-8
6 Though the LORD is on high,
Yet He regards the lowly;
But the proud He knows from afar.
7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me;
You will stretch out Your hand
Against the wrath of my enemies,
And Your right hand will save me.
8 The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;
Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands
— Psalm 138:5-8
Monday, January 25, 2010
A much need fresh start...
Hello again...
I'm so proud of myself. The gap between blog entrys is less that a week apart. I know I'm awesome. Don't have to tell me twice;) But in all seriousness blogging is such a great way to just down load things and stuff thats on your heart and mind that you don't mind others seeing... And I'm so blessed to do so.
Lately, I've been trying so hard to bounce back and stay ahead. And for a while, I was just going through the motions and just doing the work that was put in front of me. Everyone around my thought that I was happy and doing great, but I know me...and I was the farthest thing from happy. Crying myself to sleep every night, not eating right, lounging around in my pj's all day ((which is not a bad thing, but when it's the same outfit for about a week thats bad...hahaha)) hiding myself away and only facing the world when I had to... Yes, it was just bad! But God stepped in...
I love the "But God" moments in life. I'll never forget that sermon that Cliff Pruitt preached in chapel @ Elim. ((Powerful!!!)) Anyways, as I just laying in bed, attempting to take a nap, I just started to weep. Not tears of sorrow ((for once)) but I was just so thankful. Thankful for life. Thankful for the few friends that I have in my inner circle. Thankful for mom and the many spiritually parents that I do have. And thankful for what has yet to come... and than I saw it... :)
This incredible picture of mighty running water. And as the water flowed new life was formed. A fresh start. One filled with many blessings, many new and exciting victorious things. True freedom from the many things that I have struggled with for years. The silly secret things that I would whisper to God and just hope they were apart of His will...lol Those big dreams... All of it just being knit together. It was a great picture... :)
Now after typing all of that, I really don't know how to end this. But on thing for sure is that I feel like a new woman. Things are turning around for the better. I have a feeling in this next season that alot of tears are going to be redeemed. Things that I have prayed over with great faith, things that seemed to be to little in my eyes, and things that would seem to be "too extreme"...are all going to be come so very real. And it's about time... I mean... it's very exciting to watch, and know that it's only going to drawing me closer to the Lord, and turn me into a greater woman.
Goodness, God is GREAT. :)
I'm so proud of myself. The gap between blog entrys is less that a week apart. I know I'm awesome. Don't have to tell me twice;) But in all seriousness blogging is such a great way to just down load things and stuff thats on your heart and mind that you don't mind others seeing... And I'm so blessed to do so.
Lately, I've been trying so hard to bounce back and stay ahead. And for a while, I was just going through the motions and just doing the work that was put in front of me. Everyone around my thought that I was happy and doing great, but I know me...and I was the farthest thing from happy. Crying myself to sleep every night, not eating right, lounging around in my pj's all day ((which is not a bad thing, but when it's the same outfit for about a week thats bad...hahaha)) hiding myself away and only facing the world when I had to... Yes, it was just bad! But God stepped in...
I love the "But God" moments in life. I'll never forget that sermon that Cliff Pruitt preached in chapel @ Elim. ((Powerful!!!)) Anyways, as I just laying in bed, attempting to take a nap, I just started to weep. Not tears of sorrow ((for once)) but I was just so thankful. Thankful for life. Thankful for the few friends that I have in my inner circle. Thankful for mom and the many spiritually parents that I do have. And thankful for what has yet to come... and than I saw it... :)
This incredible picture of mighty running water. And as the water flowed new life was formed. A fresh start. One filled with many blessings, many new and exciting victorious things. True freedom from the many things that I have struggled with for years. The silly secret things that I would whisper to God and just hope they were apart of His will...lol Those big dreams... All of it just being knit together. It was a great picture... :)
Now after typing all of that, I really don't know how to end this. But on thing for sure is that I feel like a new woman. Things are turning around for the better. I have a feeling in this next season that alot of tears are going to be redeemed. Things that I have prayed over with great faith, things that seemed to be to little in my eyes, and things that would seem to be "too extreme"...are all going to be come so very real. And it's about time... I mean... it's very exciting to watch, and know that it's only going to drawing me closer to the Lord, and turn me into a greater woman.
Goodness, God is GREAT. :)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Final Decisions :)
Hahahahaha... It's funny that I'm calling this "Final Decisions" since I feel like I change my mind more than the average women. :D But I have finally found the "guts" to take the risks to make my dreams come true. And for once the combination of faith, hope and excitement are indescribable...
So what are these "Final Decisions" you might ask?!?!?!?
1. School
2. Job Change
3. Date for moving
School: I have been back and forth between Community School and transfering to University. (4-5 years altogether) Or go to school online (2 years altogether). Now just with timing along the decision maybe obvious, but I wanted it to be right. I feel like I've wasted enough time, but despite that feeling I wanted it to be right choice. So this Sept 4, 2010; I start my Christian Counseling Degree at Light University. It's based in VA. I would so love to be there, but that a big move that I can't do...yet :) So I'm going online. This allows me to have a job change and back into gear for the next step.
Job Change: This should be no surprise to anyone! I feel like every time something comes around I am changing jobs but being as strong willed and stubborn as I am... I need a lot of tough options before I can make FINALLY figure out the right fit. Anyways, I'm going to be a Camp Counselor @ Camp Hollis this summer and hopefully the following summer. And in the Fall... who really knows.... At this point, I'm praying for a HUGE open door that will allow me to go back to school online and is more than 30+ hours a week... :) I'm hoping/praying for something that more towards the line of counseling but who knows... God, let your will be done ;)
The Big Move: California... HERE I COME!!! Yes, I'm really moving! I'm scared "crap-less", but I'm so ready to start making my dreams come true. :) The open visions and daydreams alike. I see it ahhhhhhhhhhh things are coming together!!! heheheheh I've been waiting for a long time. As of today it's I have:
and I know that when you start counting down things it makes time go slower but I'm really praying that time flys... :)
The funny thing about "Final Decisions" is that they've always been final. God knew even before today that I would be a gitty little girl writing out this blog, getting super excited about the dreams that He has for me. I guess it just took going through many fires for me to realize that I am the right person for these dream. That I can to all things in Him who definately is my strength. And nothing not even our deepest fear can stop us from becoming who we truely are in Christ... Unless we choose to do so... :O
So what are these "Final Decisions" you might ask?!?!?!?
1. School
2. Job Change
3. Date for moving
School: I have been back and forth between Community School and transfering to University. (4-5 years altogether) Or go to school online (2 years altogether). Now just with timing along the decision maybe obvious, but I wanted it to be right. I feel like I've wasted enough time, but despite that feeling I wanted it to be right choice. So this Sept 4, 2010; I start my Christian Counseling Degree at Light University. It's based in VA. I would so love to be there, but that a big move that I can't do...yet :) So I'm going online. This allows me to have a job change and back into gear for the next step.
Job Change: This should be no surprise to anyone! I feel like every time something comes around I am changing jobs but being as strong willed and stubborn as I am... I need a lot of tough options before I can make FINALLY figure out the right fit. Anyways, I'm going to be a Camp Counselor @ Camp Hollis this summer and hopefully the following summer. And in the Fall... who really knows.... At this point, I'm praying for a HUGE open door that will allow me to go back to school online and is more than 30+ hours a week... :) I'm hoping/praying for something that more towards the line of counseling but who knows... God, let your will be done ;)
The Big Move: California... HERE I COME!!! Yes, I'm really moving! I'm scared "crap-less", but I'm so ready to start making my dreams come true. :) The open visions and daydreams alike. I see it ahhhhhhhhhhh things are coming together!!! heheheheh I've been waiting for a long time. As of today it's I have:
and I know that when you start counting down things it makes time go slower but I'm really praying that time flys... :)
The funny thing about "Final Decisions" is that they've always been final. God knew even before today that I would be a gitty little girl writing out this blog, getting super excited about the dreams that He has for me. I guess it just took going through many fires for me to realize that I am the right person for these dream. That I can to all things in Him who definately is my strength. And nothing not even our deepest fear can stop us from becoming who we truely are in Christ... Unless we choose to do so... :O
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us . . . And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ---- Quote by Nelson Mandela ----
until next time...
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Changes
I have never been one to hate change. Being flexible and just dealing with the different fires that seem to surround me, have been a part of everyday life... Until today:)
Today is an important day for me, and probably will be for the rest of my life. You see until this post things just seem to be "too dysfunctional, disoriented". Yes, with plan and purpose of course, but I've just dealt with it for so long b/c I've feared me own emotions. I've been told for soooo long that "this is God way" or "just trust Him he'll see you through" or "this has just happened to you b/c of the true character that you lack" or all the other non-sense that religious people say to each other without thinking... That I've truly have forgotten what life really was about, and who I was truly living for.
January 10, 2010: I broke my non-church streak. Not that not going to church was wrong. I just felt the need to go. God is always challenging us to be more like Him. Bringing us from glory to glory to glory. To a place that is higher and a blessing to others. Though my "glory to glory" always seem like I'm going into fire after fire... God forever longs for me to be like Him and longs for that deeper relationship with him. Changes are soooo necessary for this life.
As the year 2010 proceeds, I'm hoping and believing for new things, new fires, new direction, new love and new changes. Even though my resolutions are reasonable and have failed at a couple already....hahaha, I'm so looking forward to RIVERS and MUCH FRUIT in this desert that I am in. I'm so blessed to know that this desert will be GREEN, LUSCIOUS PASTURE...and hopeful sooner that I could ever imagin.
Thats all for now. Until next time. :D
Today is an important day for me, and probably will be for the rest of my life. You see until this post things just seem to be "too dysfunctional, disoriented". Yes, with plan and purpose of course, but I've just dealt with it for so long b/c I've feared me own emotions. I've been told for soooo long that "this is God way" or "just trust Him he'll see you through" or "this has just happened to you b/c of the true character that you lack" or all the other non-sense that religious people say to each other without thinking... That I've truly have forgotten what life really was about, and who I was truly living for.
January 10, 2010: I broke my non-church streak. Not that not going to church was wrong. I just felt the need to go. God is always challenging us to be more like Him. Bringing us from glory to glory to glory. To a place that is higher and a blessing to others. Though my "glory to glory" always seem like I'm going into fire after fire... God forever longs for me to be like Him and longs for that deeper relationship with him. Changes are soooo necessary for this life.
As the year 2010 proceeds, I'm hoping and believing for new things, new fires, new direction, new love and new changes. Even though my resolutions are reasonable and have failed at a couple already....hahaha, I'm so looking forward to RIVERS and MUCH FRUIT in this desert that I am in. I'm so blessed to know that this desert will be GREEN, LUSCIOUS PASTURE...and hopeful sooner that I could ever imagin.
Thats all for now. Until next time. :D
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