O MY GOODNESS... O MY GOODNESS!!! Big things are happening on this end of the world. Sorry that I didn't write last week. I've come to the conclusion that I will NEVER buy or own a scale. I'm content with my 182lb, but the sun is out and the walking to running process will beginning soon (TOMORROW)... :) But in other news...
I have made the biggest step forward that I think that God has ever allowed me to make and I am beyond excited. Today I took a HUGE step backwards and went to the last place I was majorly shattered. Ironically it was at a church. For to long I've been in pain. Carrying to much condemnation, anger, amazement (the bad kind!) and just utter disgust for this particular denomination and this person. I was challenged during prayer time that I had a couple of days ago, about forgiveness. Forgiveness is such a hard concept to grab a hold of and walk out in. I mean, people in my life, my own family members have told me for the longest time... "Forgive and forget, it's easy... God does the rest." That statement left me dumbfound EVERY time I heard that...and I wanted to slap (the living-day-lights out of...) EVERY single person that said it me. Not only was the response heartless, but they didn't have a clue about the situation or how BADLY this situation hurt me... and changed my prospective on ministry FOREVER!
BUT GOD... is (beyond) INCREDIBLE!!! Today, I went back to that place where I was defeat, overcome, abandoned and left fire-less... and I stood in that place and I was totally free. I wasn't bound. The wound was not oozing puss, guts, or blood... I was whole. I stood there humbly as the daughter of a King...and I was complete and healed...
Today was a scary day; a victorious and marvelous day. (insert picture of me GLOWING here....) Idk, if I will ever go back and worship at that particular fellowship again, but I do have renewed faith in the fact that God can use any situation for His glory. I have renewed faith that this journey of tears isn't all for nothing, and that this recovering General has not seen that last of her orders...not yet;)
I know that this event was meant to put my fire out forever but as I left that fellowship today...
I saw coals, red and hot being stirred up again...
Until next time:]
