Wow...

wow it's been a while since I've been on here...

According to my baby time ticker, I have 110 days until my little Harlee is here. To much is in my head!! At times it can be overwheleming! At times it can even be frightening, but most of the time... it's a pure joy, thinking of my princess and actually having her here.

Baby Girl, even though things are not as perfect as I would love them to be and I can't even beginning to describe to you how excited I am to meet you, see you, cuddle with you and just give you so much lovin... :) Though I may be overwhelemed with fear of the unknown and just feeling inadquite.... I know that God has a plan and that knowledge in and of itself puts this raging sea at peace... Love you Hunny...

Until next time :)

10 piggies, 10 toes...

Yesterday and the day before I reached a new level of love that I have never experienced before!! Thats right. I saw and heard my baby!! It was amazing how anxious I was to hear the heartbeat, but when I did it was LOUD and CLEAR. And oddly enough it was what I needed. When I was done with my appointment on Tuesday, they asked me if I wanted to see the baby... I was like "You can show me?!?!?" Duh... and the Dr. laughed and told me yes.

Seeing my munchkin hanging upside-down just hanging out like all was well in the world was great!! See that little lite ((indicating the heartbeat)) going superfast and hearing it just as strong as the day before was breath-taking!!

So far everything is going "PERFECT" ((in the words of my mid-wife))!! And I'm so thankful, blessed and so much more. God's given me one baby!! One more lil someone to love on... <3

I choose LIFE...

So it's funny how you make promises to yourself and than life throws you a certian chain of events and you realize that you just got to do the best you can with what you have been instilled with and what you learned on your own and hope for the best. 2 weeks ago today my life changed FOREVER... Thats right. I'm pregnant! And sometime around March 20th, 2011... I'll be a momma. :) And though things may not seem to be in the "right order" this kid has got to be something special...

Today as I was hanging out with my boys and telling different people the news, and it dawned on me... OMG, this is so natural... What am I doing? :) And how the heck did I get here? :P At this point I'm laughing histerically!!! Brodey, turns and looks with me and asks "What are you laughing at?!" I just looked up at the ceiling, and put my hand on my stomach and said with a huge chessy grin on my face..."I'm gonna be a Momma! There's no turning back!!" Than did Caleb (Brodey's 2yr old) come up to me and said..."You're gonna be the best!!" Tears of joy ran down my face today as my boys left my apartment. I can't put into words how great it was to see them/have them there. It felt to natural and sur-real.

So yes, I choose LIFE. Be that as it may. Hate me, love me, judge me, do whatever! But I chose to REJOICE and CELEBRATE this life. As he or she grows and as I get fatter...hahaha I will rejoice and celebrate and keep smiling... <3

Yep, it's true...

I'm due March 20, 2011. So much to do so little time. Any advice or encouragement is so welcome. Funny story still to come... but for right now, I just want people to know. :) Until next time... <3

Scared

Normally, I'm not one to admit it. But I am petrified about this new season. New apartment, new car, possibly a new job, new life, new love...and I'm so scared. Things are coming together so quick and changing so fast... I just can't seem to catch my bears... I'm scared, but it's a good scared... I hope :)

This week I move into my apartment. Maybe once I have a place thats mine I'll be a little more secure... ;) Until than keep me in your prayers. I'm already 1/2 through the summer... I hope im alive and hopping for the other 1/2 of camp. God bless. <3

favorite quotes as of late...lol

"Yesterday is history. Tommorow is a mystery. But today, today is a gift, that's why it's called the PRESENT." Kung Fu Panda


..."Your ability to trust fuels your ability to love..." ♥♥♥

Jedi Moment: "Exciting times, I live!"

I had a jedi moment today as I got off the phone with a friend of mine.

Exciting times, I live!

Things are packed! Things are ready set in motion... all I got to do is move!! Moving forward is so hard. I'm beginning to understand why God instructed certian ones to NOT look back. Transition/Moving forward is has been so hard. There is so much comfort in the "known" "the past" But change is needed and it is good. This CRAZY season however is almost over. ((THANK GOD!!))

Camp=TRANSITION

Moving during Camp=TRANSITION

Interview for my job with AmeriCorp during Camp=TRANSITION

Opening my heart to Love=TRANSITION ((hahah this transition has been very insightful;]))

All this to say... "I'm blessed! Exciting times, I live!" I may not have a clue of where I am being lead, but I know that I dont need to pray for God to bless my life and be blessed anymore. Reason being, I ALREADY AM. All I have to do is be obedient and faithful with these "talents" that God has given me; give it all I got, and WATCH for Him to day something that I couldnt even comprehend on my own! As I enjoy the last night that I will have to myself ((until camp is over!!!)) I'm in awe of all/what God has done. Even though I am clueless to what all of this will add up to... Clueless just in general...hahaha I don't mind anymore. :]

Camp is going to be AWESOME!!!

My new apartment is going to be BLESSED and without anything LACKING!!!

AmeriCorp will HIRE ME!!!

My heart will NOT be BROKEN!!!

I'm sharing with you, my amazing Jedi moment because there are way to many of people that I know that are stuck in a place that Life doesn't make sence! Clueless on where God is taking them/going to take them!! Pain, Pain Pain...ECT!!! But as I was reminded today...

Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers him out of them all...

Psalm 34:19

Despite the hecticness and uncertianty I am NOT alone. Despite that the fact that there are whispers of doubt, and "O, she'll never learn... She will always be like this!!" I chose to ignore it, and teach myself, and be taught by Him who loves me. The Lord is on the move and He is on His way... He promised!! He said so!! Tomorrow is the first day of the last of my transitions... ((for now!!!hahahaha)) And I can't wait!!

xoxoxoxo